Devotions for Teachers: When You Feel Overwhelmed
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
I John 4:4
This devotion this week is going to read more like a blog post…because it’s for me, y’all. I am overwhelmed. But maybe you are too, and we can help each other. I am up, at 5:30, and I prayed over this feeling. I got in bed at 7:30 last night and prayed over it, and read, and prayed some more. I put my phone in another room, sound off, in the hopes that I could maybe hear what God was telling me. I am drowning in the season of life that I am in, and my brain is so busy all of the time, that God’s comfort and guidance can not cut through the noise. I haven’t even tried to listen. But this weekend I felt so weary, all I could do was take to my bed on a Saturday night (leaving my husband to watch TV alone on the couch), and try to find peace in the pages of a book, or in the quiet of my own mind.
I didn’t find it, which is why I am awake at 5:30, still mulling over this sense of overwhelm.
I was listening to Laura Tremaine’s podcast 10 Things to Tell You this weekend, and she has an episode called “Where Are You?” It’s about where you are in the ‘journey’ (as cheesy as that sounds). Like, think about the different parts of your life…are you at the beginning of this adventure? The end? The middle? Sometimes we know for sure…you’re 40 weeks pregnant, so you know you’re at the end of the season of adulthood where you’re not a parent, or it’s January so you know you’re in the middle of another school year.
But other times we’re just hoping: I hope I’m in the (early) middle of my life, or that I’m near the beginning of my journey as a mother. Those things are my hopes, but they are really God’s will. But that being said, here’s where I am right now:
I’m at the beginning of learning a new work role (and I’ve learned that I place a lot of value in being ‘the best’ at my work, so I think God is actually teaching me some good life lessons here. But they’ve been painful and I haven’t been the best student).
I’m near the beginning of parenthood. I’ve only been doing it three years…and the amazing thing about parenthood is no two years are the same. So, what I learned about being a mom when they were 6 months old basically doesn't help me at all now that they are toddlers.
I’m at the very beginning of navigating owning a business, being an employee, and being a mom…all in the same space. If there are youtube tutorials out there on this, please advise.
I’m near the beginning of my marriage. Four years. And we’ve done a lot in four years…an alarming amount. And the dust is settling, and we don’t have plans to build a new house or have another baby or switch schools for the first time…ever. So, now we’re digging into the hard work of preserving our relationship even though we’re both being pulled in a million directions, and life leaves very little time for marriage.
I’m at the very, very raw beginning of learning how to be a mom, a wife, and a friend. I’ve been in a lengthy season of hiding from real, authentic friendship. I just haven’t felt like I have the extra space to commit to new friendships about 99% of the time. I’m already a self-proclaimed bad friend to the girls who have stuck with me thus far. Returning calls/texts requires a herculean effort most days, and scheduling actual time to be with others feels like Jesus himself came down and intervened. It’s a tough season. The resentment you feel for the person you can’t be anymore (I hear) is normal, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m rounding out of the baby years, where I was doing everything I could to keep my head above water, and I was pretty unapologetic about the friends I couldn’t make time for along the way…and now I’m trying to be a little more balanced. But goodness, if it isn’t a challenge.
I’m at the beginning of a new fitness journey. One that is really sticking, and is making me do things like workout with my kids around. This requires listening to them cry for more snacks at my feet, but I’m powering through because I’ve decided I am worth the time it takes to work on my body for 30 minutes a day, and for now that simple thought is working.
That’s a lot of beginnings. And of course, each beginning was preceded by the end of another season, so it’s a lot of transition. And this is the thing-listing out how many beginnings I am in made me literally say out loud, “Oh my gosh. This is why I feel like I’m drowning!”, but middles are really hard, too. Endings are even harder. Not one season of life is promised to be easy.
But that doesn’t mean we need to muddle our way through, head underwater, waiting for someone to lift us up and help us breathe. God is waiting to do that, if we remember He is there.
So, I finally remembered. And I asked Him to help me breathe for a few minutes this morning. And this is where I landed:
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
-Isaiah 40:31
Everything important comes from Isaiah. Chris and I started noticing all of the significant verses that have shaped our lives, and how many of them came from Isaiah. But we didn’t notice until after we had named our son Isaiah. So I feel that it’s a sign that this book is more of a guide for me than I have given it credit for.
God will renew our strength. When we feel like we can’t take on the burden of what’s lying ahead of us with this school year, or this season, He promises not just to help you limp through it, but to lift you so you SOAR. You will keep marching on, and never feel faint, IF you trust in Him to help you. That’s the tough part, isn’t it? I didn’t think to look to God and say, “Ok, what the heck is happening over here? You’re letting me drown in my own life!” until I was basically crying for no reason for an entire weekend, and bed-ridden with exhaustion. And I have a feeling He gave me the biggest eye-roll and said, “If you had been asking me for help this whole time, I would have guided you away from some of these situations, and helped you master the other ones.”
He’s been watching me drown, and throw my kids in time out and cry outside of the door, and yell at my husband and then cry in the bathroom…and He’s just been waiting for me to snap out of this feeling that I’m doing it alone.
So, if you need the wake-up call that I had, here it is: You are not alone. You’re not doing this alone. There’s me, and about 1 billion other teachers and moms out there who are feeling the same things. There are stay-at-home moms and work-from-home moms and work-outside-of-the-home-moms. And childless teachers, and teachers with grown children, and teachers who are wrestling with how bad they want to become mothers. It’s all so. dang. tough.
God’s here for all of it. He wants to shield you from some of the overwhelm by guiding you away from it. But we act like toddlers and try to make our own decisions first, and we do things like touch hot stoves and then cry and blame Him.
Some things He wants to lead us right into, knowing that it will be hard, but it will make us better. And in the meantime, He promises to give us the strength to do it. And you’ll come out on the other side better, and grateful for what you learned, and amazed that you could.
Wherever you’re at, I’m praying that you reach for that life preserver early and often. Have a great week, everyone.
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